I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
