definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
two words: eviction party
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
