I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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