so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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