i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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