I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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