I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
