I want to have your abortion
North Korea, Best Korea!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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