Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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