Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
