Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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