I just cut my nipple shaving
Michael Bay diarrhea
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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