Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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