He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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