Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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