I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
