oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize