This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
