i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
