no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
