i will never coherently bang her
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
