But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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