Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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