Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
