Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
