I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
