Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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