Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
