And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
