The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The Olympian is in my bed
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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