please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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