just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have post one night stand depression
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
