ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
