The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize