so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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