DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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