i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
