Say something about gay babies.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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