You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
