margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
