I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
