You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
