I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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