I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
