i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
