So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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