belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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