it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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