I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize