So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
