carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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