He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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