lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
