not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
