So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
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