does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
