my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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