singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
