Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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