Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
