I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
