somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
