Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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