I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
