his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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