So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
