Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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