i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
