I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
