Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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