dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize