Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize