My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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