So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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