nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
