Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
