Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
