Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
