a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
