ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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