Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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