Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
