It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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